funny poetry/ songs

Gerry’s spoof Country-and-western song (sound file)

“Ode to a stool” – reflections on being asked for a sample

A humorous diatribe against bad language

Ode to Seamus Heaney

Nobel literature laureate Seamus Heaney praised Gerry’s comic poetry, saying:

“Thanks for the poem. Great swing and relish! Once upon a time I rhymed ‘stirred’ with ‘word’, but now I see that there was another alternative!(see below)!

The late, great Seamus HeaneyOde to Seamus Heaney
an affectionate tribute
by Gerry Thompson
The never-ending summer of our youth
Was thick with fecund nuts and crunchy roots
Daily we'd garnered berries, cram our guts
and faces, with fermenting fleshy fruits.

Or gather at the green-pond's fetid edge
And jellied-eyeball toadspawn freely take;
Pull turgid eels from every slimy nook,
Drag dark-striped pike from out the sloe-black lake.

We followed in our father's plough-worn path
And learned hard lessons from his belt and cuff;
We mastered crafts of raking up plump spuds,
- The roughish cut and thrust of turf and stuff

Or else we'd dig for rotting bones and skulls,
Shrouded from ancient times in mist and fog;
Poke at the shattered ribs of murdered Celts,
Or pull full-festering corpses from the bog.

Then, in the midst of summer's sultry bake,
Where the river's sinewy outline twists and curls,
We'd dive into its chilly waters, nude -
Then show our shrivelled willies to the girls.

My digging now is for the poem's truths;
My hunt no longer for primeval turds;
My gathering of fruits the verbal kinds -
All I flash, now, is metaphors and words.

For recognition's hit me with brash clout
Now all I do is look, and sit, and write;
Gone are the days of grime and dirty work -
II am a bloody lucky oul' gob-shite!

Copyright Gerry Maguire Thompson 2012

Please acknowledge if quoted – many thanks