A prison van has been in collision with a ready-mixed cement vehicle.
Police are looking for six hardened criminals.
DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS “BRITISH”
George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and scheduled for controversial Electro Shock (convulsive) Therapy when doctors realised he wasn’t depressed at all – only British….
Comedians have to deal with fear every time they get on stage. And one of the ways they do this is to do as much as they can to avoid things going wrong. You can do the same….
“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me; I’m afraid of widths” – stand-up comedian Stephen Wright
Perhaps the single most commonly admired attribute of stand-up comedians is their demonstration of courage and management of fear – preparedness to stand alone in front of an unknown, potentially hostile, and sometimes huge audience – risking failure: not amusing them, not being liked, being heckled or boo-ed off. This is a visceral and quite fundamental fear, which feels like it’s about one’s very survival. Not for nothing is a bad comedy experience on stage termed ‘dying on your *ss’….
“Life is a jig-saw puzzle, but they don’t give you all the pieces”
– Gerry Maguire Thompson
“I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, calling out ‘Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!'”– Jerry Seinfeld
One of the chief reasons we appreciate comedians – and one of the major reasons that they can exert influence on us, is that they continually make us think about things in ways we have never thought about them before: everyday things, trivial things, important things, life-and-death things, all kinds of things….
Comedy creativity doesn’t happen by magic, or by way of some randomly bestowed divine gift. Comedians have to work on it, even when they don’t feel creative. They use range of methods to stimulate their creativity in order to generate new ideas and further developments of their material….
The key to a long-lasting relationship
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about….
I note with sadness the passing of the great poet and great human being, Seamus Heaney. I wrote an affectionately humorous poetic tribute to his work, and he was kind enough to write the appreciation of it which is printed below the poem…….
Zen Teabags Holistic inc is proud to launch a whole new range of aromatherapy products – for your canine companion.
Woof-Woof-Yum-Yum is the exciting new range of essential oils, specially formulated to please the dog in your life. Remember though – these are to please the dog, not you!…
“Once in a lifetime comes a book that will totally transform your life, help you find your true direction, and reveal to you the very mysteries of existence itself… This is not that book. However, it is the funnietst, most brilliant tongue-in-cheek guide to New Age jargon yet published”
– Om Yoga magazine
“Gerry Thompson is a stand-up comedian and the author of several New Age humor books, including the bestselling parody of human relationships Cats are from Venus, Dogs are from Mars. In these times when religious faith often hardens into dogmatism and New Thought essays celebrate the paths to prosperity, it is refreshing to have a playful soul poke fun at some of the excessive dimensions of our beliefs and activities.
In this funny compendium of definitions of New Age jargon, Thompson draws out plenty of our chuckles.”
– Spirituality and Practice
Gerry Thompson is an international best-selling author, speaker, comedian and trainer Read More…