Top signs of a modern gentleman today, as required of the modern woman*: 1) Carries you home from a night out if your feet are hurting 2) Calls you in the morning to make sure you got up in time 3) Tells you if your skirt is tucked into your knickers

A prison van has been in collision with a ready-mixed cement vehicle. Police are looking for six hardened criminals.

DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS “BRITISH” George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and scheduled for controversial Electro Shock (convulsive) Therapy when doctors realised he wasn’t depressed at all – only British.

Learning from comedians: controlling fear: risk reduction Comedians have to deal with fear every time they get on stage. And one of the ways they do this is to do as much as they can to avoid things going wrong. You can do the same.

dealing with fear, part 1 “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me; I’m afraid of widths” –  stand-up comedian Stephen Wright Perhaps the single most commonly admired attribute of stand-up comedians is their  demonstration of courage and management of fear – preparedness to stand alone in front of an unknown, potentially hostile,

“Life is a jig-saw puzzle, but they don’t give you all the pieces” – Gerry Maguire Thompson

“I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, calling out ‘Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!'”–

Comedy creativity doesn’t happen by magic, or by way of some randomly bestowed divine gift. Comedians have to work on it, even when they don’t feel creative. They use range of methods to stimulate their creativity in order to generate new ideas and further developments of their material.

The key to a long-lasting relationship A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or...

Ode to Seamus Heaney I note with sadness the passing of the great poet and great human being, Seamus Heaney. I wrote an affectionately humorous poetic tribute to his work, and he was kind enough to write the appreciation of it which is printed below the poem….

Zen Teabags Holistic inc is proud to launch a whole new range of aromatherapy products – for your canine companion. Woof-Woof-Yum-Yum is the exciting new range of essential oils, specially formulated to please the dog in your life. Remember  though – these are to please the dog, not you!

“Once in a lifetime comes a book that will totally transform your life, help you find your true direction, and reveal to you the very mysteries of existence itself… This is not that book. However, it is the funnietst, most brilliant tongue-in-cheek guide to New Age jargon yet published” – Om Yoga magazine

“Gerry Thompson is a stand-up comedian and the author of several New Age humor books, including the bestselling parody of human relationships Cats are from Venus, Dogs are from Mars. In these times when religious faith often hardens into dogmatism and New Thought essays celebrate the paths to prosperity, it is refreshing to have a

Here are some practical things you can do in order to be better at living in the present:

Sabotaging the present: We’re often prone to squandering the present moment. Do you ever find yourself doing one thing (washing the dishes, Pilates practice, making love), but thinking ahead to the next or later activity (wondering what to cook for dinner, next week’s Pilates practice making love with someone else), perhaps wanting it to stop,

“It is delightfully refreshing to read a New Age book with old fashioned humor. Gerry Thompson’s keen powers of observation are turned with kleig light intensity onto the whole gamut of New Age themes, and nothing is sacred or safe from his wry observations and delicious barbs. The humor of this “New Age Spoofapedia” is

“I laughed my head off. This is a wonderful look into the “New Age” movement. Tongue-in-Cheek, but cutting through to truths. This is a wonderful time to raise endorphins with a good guffaw.” – The Editor, The Messenger

The problem with dwelling in the future Of course, there’s a very important place for looking into our future so that we can follow a structured plan and anticipate certain eventualities; but we must always come back to the present in order to put plans into action. Yet how much time to we often spend